


Til Kingdom Come

by Ofi



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 12:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4961332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ofi/pseuds/Ofi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke has long understood loneliness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Til Kingdom Come

"We'd like to move in together"

After a long pause, Bellamy is the one who answers first, clearing his throat and replying casually "And this concerns Clarke and I because? People have been shacking up since we landed. It's not our business who you are sleeping with"

The couple before them stands with intertwined hands and sheepish, happy smiles. The girl, 'Gemma' Clarke reminds herself, blurts out "Because we'd like to get married"

"Oh" is all Bellamy replies and there is another pause until the young man explains "That means there'll be a permanent free tent and you two take care of distributing those."

Clarke finally remembers his name, Tom, who is grinning from ear to ear as he says, "And we wanted one of you to do the ceremony"

Bellamy chokes on something that sounds suspiciously like laughter.

\---

After the couple has left, Bellamy's laughter turns into bored sighs as casting a blank look at Clarke he says,"I still don't see how it's camp business"

They lapse into silence. 

"I don't even know the words for that thing. Do you?" he asks and Clarke vigorously shakes her head no, busying herself with mentally rearranging the tent set ups before explaining, "Never thought I'd have a need to"

"Oh this should be fun" Bellamy says.

\---

Of course Finn is the one who knows the words to the commitment ceremony. 

"The whole thing?" Bellamy asks, suspiciously. 

Under their scrutiny, Finn shifts in discomfort. From her corner as she works on yet another project, Raven laughs, "Every damn word. He used to recite it when we were little"

There's something implied in her words, but Clarke is too busy cutting Bellamy off to make sure he doesn't say anything else rude.

"So you'll do it?" she asks him. 

\---

They figure there's no use trying to keep the ceremony a secret and to their great surprise, it turns out to be quite the event for the 100. The day before, the hunters come back with more meat than usual as the leader quietly explains to Bellamy that Tom has helped them with making spears and arrows for months. Clarke catches Jasper and Monty bringing small cups to Gemma full of something sweet and strong smelling.

The younger girls become obsessed with making flower crowns and on the day of the wedding, everywhere Clarke looks is another head topped by woven flowers.

Clarke would even venture to say that everyone just looks cleaner- she and Bellamy had record numbers of requests to go bathe in the river.

"I don't get it" Clarke tells Bellamy as they survey the last minute preparations. "This is the best I've ever seen us all get along."

Bellamy shrugs "You never saw one of these on the other stations did you? No one can really just afford a whole ceremony so everyone would pitch in- you'd have someone make the dress, someone take care of food. It makes everyone your family when you have none."

Clarke fights the urge to press the story further, to ask Bellamy more about a life she only saw glimpses of but knows that any questions will just showcase her painful lack of knowledge about what life was like for the majority of the 100. Instead she settles for a soft "Sounds nice"

To her great surprise Bellamy answers "Yeah, it was"

Gathering her courage, she opens her mouth to ask a question but Bellamy is already striding away from her and yelling at Tom that he needs to talk to him.

\---

"Our mother was a seamstress so she would make the dresses for the ceremony" Octavia says with a smile, standing back from Gemma to eye her work. It certainly isn't the princess gowns from Clarke's childhood storybooks, but Octavia has managed to cobble together a simple, almost-white dress from old parachute material, flowers, and some random strips of blanket. "I've never actually seen one of the ceremonies. I'm so excited!"

Clarke watches Gemma tug nervously on the hem of her dress and clears her throat "I'd ask if you have any questions about sex but I'm pretty sure we all treated our first week on the ground as a crash course education"

Gemma laughs, tension visibly draining from her thin frame as Octavia complains that she needs her to stay still so she can finish securing a strap. The three quiet down and all that's left is Octavia quietly humming to herself as she roughly sews the final stitches. 

"All done!" Octavia declares with a happy sigh, "That hem would drive my mom crazy, but we did our best! I need to clean up a little before the show starts, but I'll let Finn and Tom know we're almost ready."

It's only after Octavia has all but skipped out of the tent that Clarke ventures to ask the one question she'd been biting her tongue on "Are you ready?"

Gemma doesn't hesitate, her freckled face breaking into a brilliant smile.

It takes Clarke a second to recognize the feeling in her chest as jealousy.

\---

Neither Gemma, Tom, or even Finn's voices waver during the ceremony.

Clarke stands at the back of the gathered group right next to Bellamy who affords her the smallest of smiles when he sees the blue daisy crown on her head. 

"You look ridiculous" he says but Clarke smiles back anyway.

"Who would have guessed" he says under his breath to her "Spacewalker did know every word"

The ceremony ends with Finn tying a weathered piece of rope around the couple's wrists and the camp erupts in to cheers and demands for a kiss which the happy couple quickly obliges. 

\---

Food is already roasting and Jasper is passing around a large batch of moonshine when Clarke makes her way to congratulate the couple who she swears are literally beaming.

Grabbing one of the jugs of alcohol she makes her way to where Raven is sitting alone and offers it to her, watching her expression change from unreadable to amused "You've got flowers in your hair"

Clarke tentatively raises her hand to feel the soft petals and shrugs "You try telling a 12 year old who spent all day working on it that you won't wear it"

Raven laughs "I didn't say it looked bad"

The two sit together watching Tom and Gemma dancing even though there is no music but makeshift drums. 

"Insufferable" Raven says but her smile is kind.

They all drink too much that night on stomachs that are too empty (always too empty) and Clarke laughs more than she has since before she was imprisoned on the Ark. 

She daces with a group of other young women and girls. As she's twirling and smiling so wide that her face hurts, she looks up from her fellow revelers and sees Bellamy staring at her. Before her inebriated mind has time to follow that thought through, she's being pulled back into a new set of twists and spins.

The last thing she thinks of as she tipsily makes her way to her tent and collapses on her cot is that she's lost her flower crown.

\---

A month later Gemma takes a Grounder arrow through her heart during a simple gathering mission. Clarke's hands are covered in blood and no matter what she does, she just can't save her.

"It's okay" Tom says holding Gemma's hand as she gasps like a fish out of water, "I'm here and you are loved and it's okay"

He says it over and over and in between gasps Clarke thinks that Gemma is smiling. When Gemma stops breathing and doesn't start again, Clarke strides out of the tent, throws up, and vaguely wonders why she's not crying.

\---

The 100 bury Gemma together on a mockingly sunny day.

She is the most serene corpse Clarke has seen on Earth.

\---

In the 9 months that they have been on the ground, Bellamy has rarely asked if she's okay. He's asked often if she's missing something such as supplies or help, he's asked for her opinion on guns and guards and how her patients are doing. Save for the one time that she was literally crying blood, and another time she got the flu after she came back from Mount Weather, Bellamy has shown little interest in her personal wellbeing. Clarke has entertained the thought that he used up all his care when he saved her from that spike pit.

But a week after Gemma's death, he pauses in the middle of explaining a new patrol route to stare at her intensely before asking "Are you ok?"

Before she can even stop herself she retorts listlessly "What does it matter?"

"It matters" Bellamy counters immediately "It matters Clarke"

\---

"Thank you"

Clarke forces a small smile and shrugs, "It's just a small cut Tom, all I'm doing is cleaning it out."

Tom stays perfectly still as Clarke does her work, "No" he clarifies, "Thanks for taking care of Gemma"

Clarke freezes at the name but Tom continues "She said you asked her if she was ready before the ceremony and how it was such a mom thing to do. It made her feel like someone other than me cared about her down here. And I saw how hard you tried to save her, even though there wasn't anything any of us could do"

Clarke forces herself to meet his eyes "I could have tried harder"

Tom smiles serenely "Did you know I met Gemma here on the ground? I think I saw her once on the Ark before they sent us here. My parents were floated when I was really young, I've been alone for a long time and I thought no one would even notice if I was dead. During the first few days here I was trying to work on a spearhead to show Bellamy but I screwed up and cut my hand. So I'm bleeding and not quite sure what to do- none of us had seen you do your doctor thing yet. And Gemma noticed me."

He laughs a little "She actually noticed me. Marched right over, tore a part of her shirt off and bandaged me up. And just like that, I was in love"

She remains silent, unsure if the story is meant to assuage her guilt. As Tom stands he adds "Gemma and I promised each other that the other would never feel alone or unloved ever again. It's a terrible thing to die alone and I'm thankful she didn't have to experience that"

Without another word, Tom leaves. 

This time Clarke does cry- deep heaving sobs that she to clamp her hand over her mouth to muffle. 

\---

After she's stopped crying, Clarke goes looking for Jasper. If he notices her swollen red eyes he wisely doesn't question it and hands over the requested half-empty bottle of moonshine that she takes without a second thought and strides out of the tent he shares. 

Grasping the bottle tightly she walks with her head held high through the camp, and a face set so blankly that no one questions her as she opens the gate of camp herself. 

Her walk is a short one past the gate and she zig zags through freshly turned dirt before coming to a stop before the weathered piece of wood that serves as a grave marker. Clarke smiles and blinks back tears before sitting down next to it.

She takes exactly three long swigs from the bottle and revels in the absolute silence until she hears all too familiar footsteps.

"What are you doing Princess?" Bellamy sounds as tired as she feels and she opens her eyes to stare at him in the afternoon sunlight.

She gestures with her free hand "Sitting."

"And the bottle?"

Three swigs may not slur her speech but they shorten her temper as she deadpans, "It's sitting with me Bellamy"

There is more silence and Clarke takes a moment to enjoy the thought that she may have actually left Bellamy Blake speechless. 

"I'm going to sit down" he says, his voice a flat statement rather than question. 

"It's mostly a free earth, do whatever the hell you want" she says throwing back his old phrase with more malice than she expected from herself.

He folds long legs underneath himself as he settles next to her and reaches for the bottle she reluctantly hands over.

"What happened?" he asks after tipping the bottle back and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

Three swigs become five before she can even answer and she keeps her eyes trained on the dirt. "I buried Wells here by myself."

When she looks up at Bellamy, he's almost physically recoiled from her as if she'd slapped him. 

"I let the one person who cared about me down here die completely alone. And no matter how many people I save" she pauses to laugh ruefully "or attempt to save, I will live with that for the rest of my life. This is my penance."

"Sitting in the dirt drunk isn't penance Princess"

Clarke briefly entertains the idea of smashing the bottle against his head but instead she drinks from it deeply until it's empty and keeps the bottle held up against the sky hoping vainly that her arm will block his view of her face as she admits in a quiet voice:

"I buried the one person who's ever truly, unconditionally loved me here. I'm lonely, Bellamy."

\---

In the days that follow Bellamy makes no mention to her of their talk by Wells' grave. He doesn't remind her of how he walked her back to her tent after the sun went down so less people would see the spectacle of her drunkenly attempting to put on foot in front of the other while he kept a viselike grip on her arm (the only thing she was sure was keeping her upright).

He acts so bizarrely normal that Clarke wonders if her drunken imagination conjured him up but quickly drops the thought as it would reveal more about her subconscious than she'd care to admit.

"Do I have something on my face?" he asks snapping her out of her thoughts.

"Huh? No." She says waving a hand, "I'm just tired that's all."

"Tired or not, we need to agree on how we'll trade with Camp Jaha this winter."

He barged in her tent earlier than night holding a bowl of food and insisting they finalize their plans immediately.

As always, Clarke erred on caution while Bellamy favored an all or nothing approach- and as usual their agreement falls somewhere in the middle.

\---

Bellamy starts showing up more often- accompanying a wounded scout to her tent versus sending them off on their own or asking her opinion on matters long ago decided.

Clarke knows she should put a stop to it and it is nothing more than pity for her loneliness, but she finds she can't. She gets used to him bringing her lunch or waiting for him to return from a patrol. She likes his heavy footsteps and countless questions whenever he comes with her to find herbs.

They stay up late naming constellations and wondering what their part of the Earth looked like before it went to hell.

\---

Something goes wrong during a hunt. 

After months of a diet consisting mainly of vegetables, the idea to organize another hunting party is brought before them as patrol scouts insist they've seen groups of deer grazing not too far from camp and just far away enough from the Grounder spots. It is the first real gathering mission since Gemma's death.

The morning of the hunt Clarke stands next to Bellamy as he hands out guns, makeshift bows and arrows, and a few knives, trying to hide her worry with ensuring that the hunters have their necessary supplies.

"You look worried" Bellamy says and it takes her a moment to realize he's teasing her. 

She smiles a little "Just get back before sundown"

\---

A few hours later a scout comes back before the rest of the group looking wild eyed and afraid. 

"It's Bellamy" the kid tells her and for a moment Clarke doesn't breathe. When she does, she remembers the first few day on Earth when the fresh air hurt her lungs.

Clarke only is only half hearing words like "trap" and "broken" and "blood" while next to her Octavia is on the verge of hysterics. 

The hunting party arrive soon after lugging both Bellamy and three dead bucks. Bellamy's left arm and shoulder are a bloody mess and he is delirious, slipping in and out of consciousness as he's hauled into the drop ship for Clarke to fix up.

She kicks everyone out and stands in frightened silence listening to his shallow breathing before settling her nerves and taking a step towards him. 

His eyes flutter open at her footsteps and he smiles weakly at her, "I'm okay"

"I know" she says filling her voice with false confidence.

He raises his hand to touch her face and she feels the wet smear of blood on her cheek "Then don't look so worried."

\---

The story she hears later, after she's done pulling the debris out of his shoulder and meticulously stitching the laceration from his bicep to his forearm, is that Bellamy shielded another hunter during the grounder attack and in their escape stumbled before fighting off another grounder that managed to slice him before they retreated. 

The hunter telling the story smiles when he says that even as he was passing out, Bellamy demanded they not leave the deer behind.

Clarke forgets to wash the blood off her face that night.

\---

"You have got to be the most difficult patient" Clarke grumbles as she helps fashion the sling Octavia's helped her make around Bellamy's shoulder.

He sighs, "I'm fine. It's been two days. It barely hurts anymore. See?"

He raises his arm with a grin that quickly turns into a wince. Clarke gently guides his arm down, "Don't screw up my stitches just because you're impatient."

Their interactions have been light hearted since he came to while she was still fixing him up and for that Clarke is grateful. Light hearted banter means she doesn't have to think, analyze, or admit to the blind panic she felt when she thought he was dead.

\---

Jasper convinces them that they should have a party. 

"A belated unity day" Jasper argues, "Bellamy's alive, we've got some meat, and it will be good for camp morale"

Next to her Bellamy lets out a dry chuckle "Any excuse for a good party right Jasper?"

Jasper grins but Clarke notices the fatigue in his eyes "I'd say we'd earned it"

They both turn to look at her at the same time, "What do you say Princess?"

Clarke can only sigh, "Why not?"

Not waiting for them to say anything else, Jasper lets out laugh and strides out of the tent, yelling for Monty to start the preparations.

Clarke follows him out to find the camp in the middle of frenzied organizing. Jasper smiles sheepishly, "I may have floated the idea of belated unity day to a couple others before I came to you guys."

\---

That night there is once again too much alcohol but this time there is also food. It's a welcome change of pace.

Clarke sits with Raven who lets out a content sigh, "It's been awhile since we ate like that."

Before Clarke can answer, she hears exaggerated giggling and both she and Raven glance over to where Bellamy sits.

Bellamy's arm is still in a sling and there is more than one girl fawning and bringing him food and drink while the other retell the story of the hunt. He's sitting with Tom who is wearing that same world-weary smile even while being doted on.

Raven lets out a snort, "Well at least he's feeling better"

As Clarke is trying to ignore the stab of a feeling she's refusing to call jealousy when Jasper stands and clears his throat, "It's been a rough year and that's putting it lightly. And while I'm all for celebrating our screwed up version of unity day, I'd like to take a second to remember those we lost"

Jasper raises his tin cup with a sad smile.

"To Gemma" someone says and the mood quiets until Tom raises his cup with a wide smile "To Gemma"

Clarke drinks deeply as the music and laughter start back up again.

\---

The party lasts well into the night and despite the fact that she's truly and honestly full, she's also rather drunk.

She and Raven have spent the majority of the night sitting and drinking together pausing only when the other girls guilt them into a group dance. It all feels as suspiciously close to happiness as Clarke has allowed herself to feel since Gemma's death.

"Hey Princess" 

Clarke slowly rakes her eyes upwards to see Bellamy standing next to her. Raven suddenly stands and Clarke sees her glance between the two of them and smile knowingly.

"I'm done for the night" the dark haired girl proclaims before shuffling slowly towards her tent.

Bellamy sits next to her. 

"Hate that nickname you know" she mumbles "And my stitches better be good"

Bellamy smiles "Are you drunk?"

Clarke takes a moment to ponder the question, "I think I am."

He laughs and Clarke drunkenly appreciates the look on his face and smiles, "Glad to know I offer some amusement"

They sit together and talk of nothing in particular. Around them, the party starts to wind down and after she yawns a few times, Bellamy stands and offers her his hand. "Come on, I'll walk you home"

Clarke can't help but laugh and mention how home isn't exactly miles away, but she takes his hand anyways.

"I think I'm happy, or at least as happy as someone like me could be" she drunkenly admits as they start to walk close enough that her drunken steps keep her bumping into his side.

"That's good to hear" Bellamy says before mentioning he needs to grab something from his tent and gently veering her in that direction.

\---

He tells her to wait outside but she's never been one to follow his requests and barges in after him.

She hasn't been inside of Bellamy's tent in months. They've been meeting in her space or inside of the drop ship. She's momentarily surprised by how clean and organized it is. She sits on his cot and watches him rifle through papers before starting to look around the rest of his place.

It during this scanning that she recognizes something familiar half hidden by one of his few extra shirts. 

"Is that-?" she doesn't finish her question as she rises unsteadily on her feet to squint in the faint candlelight. "That's mine. That's my flower crown" 

Bellamy pauses and straights up to look at her. He opens his mouth but for a moment says nothing before sighing and admitting "Yeah it is"

"From Gemma and Tom's ceremony."

He nods, "You dropped it while you were dancing and didn't notice"

She turns his words over in her mind and says, "But you noticed"

"I meant to give it back"

"But you didn't"

"But I didn't"

"Why?"

Bellamy sighs again, "Clarke this really should be a conversation we don't have in the middle of the night while you're drunk"

"Tell me why Bellamy" 

"Because I didn't want to"

Here he smiles kindly, almost affectionately, as he takes the flower crown and gently places it on her head, "You looked happy. You also looked beautiful and obviously I couldn't tell you that."

His hand drops to her cheek and stays there. Clarke thinks back to when he did the same in the drop ship and can't help but ask, "Do you feel sorry for me?"

"You're the toughest person I know. Why would I feel sorry for you?"

"Then why do all of this for me?" she suddenly aware that she is rapidly sobering up.

Bellamy's smile doesn't waver, "Has it occurred to you that maybe I like you?"

She falters, "No, it hadn't. But-"

Clarke doesn't get to finish her thought before Bellamy leans down and presses his mouth to hers. 

It's a chaste kiss and over quickly, as he pulls away just as her brain is starting to scream at her to respond. He rests his forehead against hers, "Come on Princess, let's you get you in your own bed"

As they walk the few shorts steps from his tent to hers, she drops her hand from his arm to grasp his hand. 

They don't say anything else.  
\---

Clarke wakes to smell of dried flowers and the first thing her eyes focus on is her flower crown that Bellamy left next to her.

Though she's nursing what she's sure will be a legendary hangover, she immediately stands up, grabs the crown and marches to straight to find Bellamy.

"We need to talk" she says.

Bellamy looks from her to the crown and back up again. 

He smiles, "Took you long enough"

\---

Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin will not be the second couple to pledge themselves to one another on Earth. They will not be the third or fourth either.

But when they finally do stand together before the 100 and let their wrists be bound together with an old piece of rope while they both try to hide their joy behind their patented disaffected expressions, Clarke will look from their wrists to those gathered who are already drunkenly calling for a kiss and realize she finally understands what Bellamy meant about those who become your family when you have none. 

She hasn't felt alone in a long time.

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Title borrowed from the Colddplay song of the same name. I never had the end for this one quite planned out but I'm glad with where it went.


End file.
